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Lessons from the Locker Room

copyright 2002, Terry Duschinski.

Thank goodness, it was over. Another half-hour bout with approximately a dozen exercise machines, and I was now resting my traumatized musculature on a locker room bench. To no-one in particular I murmured:

“Is it all worth it?”

An elderly gentleman who had been standing nearby walked over and leaned into my face. With pointed finger he intoned earnestly:

“When you go to the doctor and he tells you your blood pressure is normal… then it’s worth it.”

The year was 1981, and I was then a single man of 27. For what reason was I beating my body to a pulp? Cosmetic enhancement, primarily. But my elderly friend triggered a deeper thinking. He almost made me feel badly that while he was fighting for his life I was in quest of a higher-level girlfriend. 

The echo of his words helped me recognize a lifelong discipline I needed to master. There was no turning back from regular, health-enhancing exercise; life is too fickle and fleeting.

My name is Terry Duschinski and I am privileged to be your coach in the dual endeavors of time-efficient exercise and effective eating through calorie-intake management. I’m glad you’ve chosen to raise the bar on these important life-style elements.

I’m eager to dive into the step-by-step specifics, but I know each one of them will call into question my credibility and my understanding – in your mind -- of your situation. It’s important that you know a few things about Coach TD right from the start.

First, I consider a relatively lean, energized body to constitute a valuable asset in day-to-day living. I do not, however, believe a passion for fitness should rule your life or carry a long-term importance above faith, family, or even friendships.

In ten years of personal fitness training, I emphasized to my clients that my goal was to get them to incorporate regular exercise into their lives for the rest of their lives – as  hygiene habit. I don’t shower and shave every morning because I enjoy the ritual. I do so because body odor and whiskers fail to flatter me. I assume the discipline of showering and shaving in exchange for social acceptability.

Regular exercise, executed in the time-efficient manner we’re going to teach you, should be approached in the same way. It is something you do to have a rich, rewarding life. Factor it into your routine as you would a hygiene habit.

In the matter of eating habits, you should know that I grew up with an Italian mother. Not only was my mother Italian, she was also without children until the 15^th year of her marriage. I believe she was 38 when my sister was born, and had just turned 40 at my arrival. This long wait for children made her more like a combination mother and grandmother.

Her love was evident than in my school lunches. The other kids would stand in awe as I unloaded bags of cookies, candies, and cakes, supplemental to at least one if not two sandwiches, plus cola or chocolate milk.

The result? I was a fat, overweight child. Yes, my parents used to shop the husky racks for my clothing. It was in the seventh grade that I first wanted to be slim and was willing to do something about it.

You wouldn’t imagine a seventh-grader to set out on a sensible calorie-restriction regimen that oxidized fat methodically would you? Of course not. Not in the seventh grade, nor again later in high school, college, nor as a young adult did I do things sensibly. I’ve been through the gimmicks, as have probably many of you.

Third, I’m not one of those guys you’ll see on cable TV standing on the beach in a speedo, flexing a sun-glistened physique over which passersby gush. I’m a reformed fat kid, who has exerted reasonable diligence through the decades.

Fourth, while I worked directly in fitness training for 10 years, since 1997 as well as earlier in my life, I’ve worked behind a desk and/or computer screen all day – perhaps just like you. I’m currently the product manager for a company that builds rehabilitation and exercise equipment. In short, I live like most of you live, so I know the struggle of finding time for workouts.

Did I say finding time for workouts? Correction: I know the struggle of making time for workouts.

One more locker room story. This one involves not an older man, but one about equal to my age at the time. But this guy had one of those awesome physiques about which we all dream. He bulged in the impressive locations, and was ripped elsewhere.

I was in my habit-formation period. I had purchased a health club membership near where I worked, and far from where I lived. I would have to go there directly after work three nights a week, factoring in a workout as an extension of my work day.

I knew working out was a struggle for me, but I figured an impressive hulk such as this must have loved this stuff. But he did not; he struggled too. I overheard him talking about it in the locker room.

I was stunned by the thought that it’s tough for everybody. This guy had an awesome physique, but a psyche similar to my own.

So, the people who stick with this aren’t the people for whom it is easy…they’re just the people who stick with it.

I know you can be a stick-to-it exerciser and sensible eater too.  Let’s get started.